she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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