im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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