i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize