Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We need to get me chipped asap
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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