I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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