I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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