I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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