he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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