Your tits are I can't wait for
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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