How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize