I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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