5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize