u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize