I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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