Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize