did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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