dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize