He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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