I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize