I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize