dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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