did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize