at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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