We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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