Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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