You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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