you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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