He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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