Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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