i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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