How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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