Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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