I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize