she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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