dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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