did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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