1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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