I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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