I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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