How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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