That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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