ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize