I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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