You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh god the rape fog is back!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
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I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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