I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize