Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
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well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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