Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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