As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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