Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im six kinds of drunk right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize