i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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